The Disclaimer (the one serious page)

Not affiliated with Furman University

Furrman University and the website furrman.com are a work of parody and satire. This website is not affiliated with, associated with, authorized by, endorsed by, sponsored by, or in any way officially connected with Furman University (Greenville, South Carolina), its partners, its affiliates, its faculty, staff, students, alumni, or any of its subsidiaries. No one involved with this website has any connection to Furman University in any official capacity.

The name "Furman University" and any associated names, marks, emblems, and images are the property of their respective owners. Their mention on this site is solely for the purpose of parody and commentary, and is not intended to suggest any endorsement or affiliation.

Not a real school

Furrman University is not a school. It does not exist. It has no campus, no buildings, no faculty, no staff, no students, no accreditation, and no legal existence of any kind. It cannot enroll anyone, teach anything, or confer degrees, certificates, treats, or honors on any pet, human, or other creature.

Any "application" submitted through this site produces a fictional, meaningless "decision" for entertainment purposes only. It is not an application to anything.

Privacy note

You don't need to give us any personal information to enjoy this site. Information collected in connection with furrman.com falls into two categories:

1. Third-party analytics, security, and traffic management. Like most websites, furrman.com sits behind services such as Cloudflare and our hosting provider that help deliver the site, keep it online, and tell us roughly how many visitors we have. Those services may log technical details such as your IP address, browser type, approximate location, and the pages you visit. That data is collected and handled by those providers under their own privacy policies.
2. Information you give us to complete a request. If you ask us for something, such as ordering novelty merchandise or joining a mailing list, we will explicitly ask you for the information needed to do it (for example, an email or shipping address), tell you what it's for, and use it only for that purpose.

The mock application and the Find Your Major quiz produce their joke results in your browser. We don't sell personal information, and we don't run ad networks. If we ever change how the site handles information, we'll update this note.

Everything here is fictional

All persons, animals, courses, schools, departments, degrees, faculty, administrators, testimonials, statistics, athletic results, buildings, landmarks (other than well-known real places in Upstate South Carolina mentioned for local flavor), traditions, policies, and quotations on this site are fictional and intended purely as humorous nonsense. Any resemblance to real persons or animals, living, dead, or napping, is coincidental.

References to real places (Paris Mountain, Greenville, Travelers Rest, Falls Park, the Swamp Rabbit Trail, Table Rock, Caesars Head, Jones Gap, the Blue Ridge Escarpment, and so on) are made with affection for the Upstate and do not imply that any of those places is associated with this site or with any fictional institution described here. The Swamp Rabbit Trail was, in reality, named by people who are not dogs.

Illustrations

The landscape illustrations on this site are original, stylized drawings inspired by the scenery of Upstate South Carolina. They are not photographs of, and do not depict, any real university campus.

No advice, no warranties

Nothing on this site constitutes educational, veterinary, legal, financial, or any other kind of advice. Please do not feed your pet based on anything written here, do not let your snake enroll in Tank Escape, and consult an actual veterinarian about actual animals. This site is provided "as is" for entertainment, without warranty of any kind.

Be kind to real animals

While the jokes here poke fun at pet behavior, the people behind this site love animals. If you are considering adding a pet to your family, please consider adopting from a local shelter or rescue. That part is real.

Contact

If you are a rights holder with a concern about this parody, or you simply want to tell us your dog would have majored in Squirrel Studies, please reach out through the site's operator. We do not have a phone. The ringing upsets Gerald, who is also fictional.